Love Letters <3

Burning Sticks, Playing Magic Tricks

I'm so glad you’re here again

I didn’t think I’d see you here again*

Things are starting to look very,

I get naked and dance with Mary,

Pretty girls don’t light cigarettes,

She lights me up until i’m done

I like when I start to come up

Things turn black and I throw up

It’s been so long, can I call your name?

You say things are not the same*

Taking your clothes off of me

I like it more when I can't see

My lips are so beat and blue

A symptom of me praying to you

Girl you keep me up late at night

Turn me on and my body goes light

Now that you’re here you feel far away

Did you want to make things that way?*

I'm running out but I’ll get some more

I'm friends with the lady at the store

In my underwear and two left feet

You put me out and I’m in heat

Forgetful and graceless are my ways

That's how I like to spend my days

Why’d you quit me? It was all love

I took some red and painted you a dove*

I like it when I am scary

A Black Forest cake without the cherry

A pretty girl don’t light her smoke

I don’t either I am broke

I'm just like you ‘cause I’m a drag

Get fucked up and get real mad

I thought you liked to play this game too

So unkind, what kind of girl are you?*

.

Automatic Decapitation

A girl with a head the shape of a heart,

She is not very smart

She wants to get with a man

A man that will hurt her

This is not her fault

She does not understand

A girl with a head the shape of a heart,

She wants to be very smart

She doesn't know what she has

So she sells it for free

All the animals go

Go to her to feed

A girl with a head the shape of a heart,

There's a leopard now

Camouflaged on her couch

She doesn't see it now

Her couch is leopard print

Now it's chasing the girl

And she's running away

The leopard says to the girl

When you are struck by terror

It leads to the sublime

The leopard says to the girl

When you are struck by terror

It leads to the sublime

A girl with a head the shape of a heart,

Says I don't care for that

I'm tired of being hurt

You should leave me alone

But not by myself

I wish I had a zoo

I would live inside it too

I would be alone

But not by myself

All that stuns the soul,

Feelings of terror,

Lead to the sublime

I love self impotence

And the little death

All that stuns the soul,

Feelings of terror,

Lead to the sublime

I love self impotence

And the little death

.

For Mary

I know extravagant delight

I like to meet her after school

Swimming in Paulie’s step mom’s pool

Marky, Bob, Sharron, Cherie

Mikey, Tom, Flipper, Paulie

Scoff and poke you in the eye

Smoke off you until you're dry

We pray to chocolate and sunlight

We turn to plums that never dry

Downers are so superfly

Downers are so superfly

I know I have a disposition

I think I have to say goodbye

Cause my love’s begun to dry

I like to keep my thoughts polite

But all yall bug like a bug bite

When Mikey got a facial scar

When Bobby kissed him with his car

And Marky likes to play with rats

Make some skin into some mats

Cherrie kneels to pray to God

She’s eating Sharrons porn star bod

And Flipper is the passenger 

And Paulie says he knows a trick

And he drives with a loose grip

And he drives with a loose grip

I have left the familiar

I can taste sex and candy

I like her and she is me

What a delightful tea party

And I think I'm coming down

And I would like to drive around

Before the car begins to go

I see some birds and they're all dead

And now there's bad thoughts in my head

And then when Paulie hits the gas

And when we start to go real fast

And then you can't see what you passed

And he knows his brakes don’t work

And he knows his brakes don’t work

I have traded spurs for wings

I play glass and angels sing

About the animals in the zoo

How lovers bellies stick with glue

Your colors permeate my head

Like all her pheromones in my bed

And I start to talk to Mary

And things start to get real scary

And she says that it's so very

And she says that it’s so very

.

Clemency

I made a spell

It worked so well

Lounge in my car

At the funeral homes

Show me your house

Whats in your room?

She's got a beetle

And my butterfly knife

Do you like Klimt?

How about Death and Life?

Playing with the cherubs

And stars, and sharp swords

I like you so much, I don't know the words

I like you so much, I don’t know the words

Kill me a bit, I think you're sick

Kiss me in October, your favorite magic trick

Bite my little shoulder, pray before bed

I pray to her, inside my head

A little green man

And a monster with horns

Pinch me like a spider, kill me like a widow

Cannibals are scary

Make me pray to Mary

You're someone that, bugs centipedes and bees

Aggravate me, then think of babies

And if we split, I'll meet you down in Hades

I'm waiting at the gate, saving you some daisies

.

Thirteen

I woke up with a mosquito bite on my thumb, now to start.

It was Lise’s birthday and I hadn’t planned much, just that we would be together at my house. She left to go fall asleep since we were doing nothing. When she went up I started making her birthday presents since I hadn’t previously. I made Lise paper items, drawings, and crap knit objects. I went upstairs to wake her up. Not smoothly. It was a sorry excuse for presents but she took them and tried to seem fine with it.

(a blurry period)

we hear a glass break downstairs and go check it out

(end of a blurry period)

I walk around my house and it’s filled with people, outside there are mostly adults, and inside, younger people. Lise and I walk past a group of boys all of them strong but thin and wearing a style foreign to me, that I haven’t seen. When Lise and I had passed by them, one boy made a comment on how I looked saying he liked it, followed by him saying maybe we would get together sometime. I told him maybe, and then asked for his phone to give him my number. Instead, I tried to type in my credit card information and took his phone with me since it was a long process. The next time I saw him I gave his phone back, he was obviously annoyed by how long I took. After I took the boy's phone, Lise and I went upstairs, but I forgot what happened. While upstairs we met a girl, a goth babe. She started making out with Lise and I, but Lise and I never touched, and the three of us never touched at the same time. After a while the goth babe said she couldn’t do things with both of us and that she had to pick one. Lise decided to leave and I would not see her for a while. The goth babe and I start having sex.

(a blurry period)

I realize I’m with someone else, a sexy hipster chick, and the goth babe was sitting in the corner. The sexy hipster chick and I stop having sex even though it was good and I go downstairs with the boys phone. When I come downstairs I see him, some people, and Lise, all sitting around a table in the dining room. I give him his phone and learn Lise’s leg hurts and I assume it’s bruised (she told me it hurt). I go back upstairs and find the goth babe taking pictures of me, and the sexy hipster chick hiding an assortment of guns, bombs, and ninja stars. I take the lot of it and throw it down the stairs. The sexy hipster chick, goth babe, and I are all very angry. I somehow learn that almost all guests unknown to me have ulterior motives and an ill will to me. I try explaining this to my parents, which I find in a dress and suit. They don’t understand or quite care but instead explain to me that a boy from my cross country team will now be living with us. I am quite distraught by this.

(a large blurry period but I find myself someplace else )

My family and I have gone on holiday and are staying in a sort of hotel, a tall building made from sand and patterned tile with a hollow center and a glass ceiling which let light in. I even see the boy again, and we’re on good terms you know. It's deja vu and I’ve been here before but with no recollection of my previous visits. These are time travel circumstances. I tell my family, or dad all about it, to which he explains that soon I will come close to a sort of confined deity. I think I remember it to be small and ominous for its regular appearance. It puts a spell on me, and for the remainder of my trip I will experience situations that increase in unpleasantness until I kill myself.

( there is a blurry period but I think I’ve killed myself a few times now but keep waking up in the hotel )

I am on a floor near the middle of the hotel where I’m watching my siblings fall from the top floor while a voice narrates their movement and I can only watch. Eventually the ninja turtles come in and save them. I left my dream with some sort of relief that I won’t be hurt till I kill myself. I'm slightly relieved and happy with the ending, but I feel a lot and am quite sad and miss Lise more, also I’m upset that a mosquito just bit my thumb.

5:02-6:11 A.M.


Source: Sony Pictures